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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist GabbyFemale/United States Groups :iconjapan-fans: Japan-fans
 
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Comment Before You Favourite by BoffinbraiN That would make me happy. You don't have to though.

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My brain is my constant enemy.
Always finding new ways to torture me.
Whispering lies that tear me apart,
killing my spark.
My own head is a war zone,
I don't want this nightmare to be my home.
Can I call truce with the voices in my head,
Instead of staying in this place I dread.
I want peace,
I want this attack to cease.
Cease fire please.
This battle is killing me.
Pulling me apart,
Tearing all the strings of my heart.
Unraveling me like thread.
My thoughts are slow, heavy like lead.
Words flutter through my head,
like "You're better off dead"
"You don't matter."
"You're crazier than the mad hatter."
My demons are loud
and I don't know how to tune them out.
I'm scared of losing my faith
Something that has always been safe.
I feel lost in the dark
fearing my sins have made an irreversible mark.
A red bloodied stain,
that has left the God I love in pain.
I'm trapped in my mind, my box,
The walls closing in, they won't stop.
There's a pattern of panic
In this mind that seems so manic.
I want to end the cycle of fear,
but I don't know how to get the other voice to hear.
The other me, the evil inside.
All my fear, Frankenstein monstered into something that no longer can hide.
It's a monster, full of rage.
A demon that has been around me since a young age.
I'm scared of it,
I'm hurt with every hit.
Every lie that it whispers to me,
I'm drowning, I can't see.
Could someone please help me?
I just want to be free.
Demons of mine
Yes, this is about me.
Yes, I am having a really rough time because my brain decided to be a fuck up.
I don't really know what to do right now. Maybe writing it out will help.
I'm not in danger of hurting myself( just in case anyone is worried)
I'm just really struggling.
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Well I guess I kinda friend broke up with the guy....So that went awful...
Well I finally said what I needed to say to the guy...now wait for his response...I feel like I might throw up lol...That was scary to do...but thank the Lord do I feel better after saying something.
Why did I let you in.
I chose to show you my heart, the one with little tiny bruises.
And you used it.
Spewing excuse after excuse,
And, I let you.
That was my mistake.
And it was those few tiny cracks that made me break.
I regret letting you see my heart.
It tore me apart.
These words I never thought I'd say.
Though I guess that's why we're here today.
You broke me, friend.
and I wish I could admit that this is the end.
But I'm afraid to walk away.
I no longer wish to stay.
but you have threatened death,
And what you'll do I can only guess.
I'm trapped.
I'm angry.
I wish I could go back to before,
but these little tiny bruises aren't so little anymore.
Bruises
Yeah, yeah I know. I'm writing about the same stupid thing again. Don't remind me. I'm pissed and I'm trying to figure out what to do. I mean I'll probably continue to be a coward and not say anything, and let anger and frustration build up.
I could confront him, I could, but that could do a whole lot of damage. I don't want him to be really hurt over me, but I REALLY want to say something. Because he has been lying like a rug, and I want him to know that I know, but that's not helpful or a mature way to handle things.
I could just hide all his posts, so I don't see any of it, but that doesn't make anything change. It stays the same and I'll still be mad at him, I'll just won't be as mad because I won't see it as often.
UGGGHHH...


















































I kinda just want to flip him the bird and walk away, honestly...
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Words,
These are the things that should come easy to me.
I should be able to spew words onto a page and call it art.
Why do words not come to me?
They don't spill onto the page,
Why can't they fall out like they do when I talk to myself?
Or sound perfect like they do when I'm ranting around my house?

There's no rhyme or reason,
No melody, no beat.
and I feel like my mind is on repeat.
I say the same thing every time.
The thoughts I have are on replay,
and I've said them a thousand ways.
I'm afraid,
Like a overplayed song on the radio,
My words will lose their meaning,
My friends will stop listening,
and my voice will fall on deaf ears.

I fear not being perfect.
I fear not saying the right thing.
I fear that my words will fall flat,
my voice not reaching, my words without meaning.
Empty words falling on an empty page,
False concern and false pain.
I fear the emptiness of valueless words.
I fear losing the voice I barely have.

These words don't make sense,
Jumbled up and crumpled.
No pattern or system,
Just words to make sense of emotion.
Out of my head and onto the page,
Maybe not art, but better than nothing.
These words don't make sense
honestly this thing I wrote is pretty jumbled up...I'm writing this half asleep so that might be why though.
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Do any of you want to see some of the haikus I wrote for my creative writing class? If you wanna see them, just let me know. 
  • Listening to: The Beatles
  • Reading: college stuffs
  • Watching: comp screen
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: food
  • Drinking: lemonade

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lunarwolf95
Gabby
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
Well, There's not much to tell. I enjoy music, mostly Twenty One Pilots, I also like bands like Queen, The Beatles, and a bunch of others. I'm a huge fan of classic rock.
I also love reading, if I'm not wasting my time on the internet, I'm probably reading. Mostly fiction, and mostly YA fiction, I don't really like much else.
I write a lot, that's pretty much my dream job. Writing, all the time, probably fiction.
I'm also Catholic and proud to be so. I love my faith.

Anyway...that's pretty much it...Me in a nutshell.
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:iconshipain:
shipain Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:iconbummiesplz:Happy Birthday! Have your cake and eat it too
Reply
:iconfg-twins:
FG-Twins Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the watch! :heart:
Reply
:iconneoconvoy:
Neoconvoy Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Student General Artist
Happy birthday!

God bless you!
Reply
:iconshipain:
shipain Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
<img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/b/u/b…" alt=":iconbummiesplz:" title="Bummiesplz">Happy Birthday! <img src="s.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" alt="Have your cake and eat it too" style="width: 32px; height: 32px;" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="119">
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:iconlidybug:
lidybug Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014
Thanks for the fave
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:iconsandw1chl0vr:
sandw1chl0vr Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014
How busy are you? There's a club that needs some attention.
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:iconpugga-chan:
Pugga-Chan Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014   Traditional Artist
Thanks fro the watch Gabby :iconbrohugplz: 
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:iconpugga-chan:
Pugga-Chan Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014   Traditional Artist
*for lol
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:iconmurlocaggrob-madmab:
MurlocAggroB-MadMAb Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013
:icondoctorwhoplz:
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:iconlunarwolf95:
lunarwolf95 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
=D   =D
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:iconmurlocaggrob-madmab:
MurlocAggroB-MadMAb Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013
:icontardisplz:
Reply
:iconneoconvoy:
Neoconvoy Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday!

God Bless you!
Reply
:iconlunarwolf95:
lunarwolf95 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much. =)
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:iconnelletenebrecresco:
NelleTenebreCresco Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
 Free Birthday Icon  loveBirthday Glomp emoticon 
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:iconlunarwolf95:
lunarwolf95 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much.
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:iconhamundr24:
hamundr24 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Student Writer
Happy birthday! God bless! :)
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:iconlunarwolf95:
lunarwolf95 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you. =3
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:iconhamundr24:
hamundr24 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013  Student Writer
Welcome! :)
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:iconshipain:
shipain Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:iconbummiesplz:Happy Birthday! Have your cake and eat it too
Reply
:iconlunarwolf95:
lunarwolf95 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much. ^.^
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